No one wants to admit they have a problem. It can be incredibly embarrassing to acknowledge that we are addicts and different from others. It feels like admitting we lack control over our lives, and that loss of control can make us feel weak. This raw vulnerability is terrifying because we fear how others will perceive us, and we may not want them to interfere with our using. Even more challenging than admitting we have a problem is accepting it.

It is often easier to blame others for our substance use or to find excuses that prevent us from taking responsibility. We may blame our family, childhood, social group, mental health issues, significant others, traumatic experiences, and many other factors. We resist admitting we have a real problem with substance use because that acknowledgment would imply that people would want us to stop, and stopping is not easy.

So what happens when we accept that we are powerless? Initially, it may feel incredibly uncomfortable, or even frightening. However, over time, acceptance can become something we embrace, potentially lifting a burden off our shoulders that we didn’t even realize was there.

There is a difference between admitting and accepting that we are addicted. Admitting is primarily for the benefit of others. It can be difficult because it requires us to let people in and acknowledge that we are not okay. This is our way of being truthful with others. Acceptance, on the other hand, is for us and represents the first step toward healing. When we accept, we engage in honesty with ourselves. Acceptance motivates us to seek solutions.

Finding peace takes a lot of work and vulnerability. The early stages of recovery can feel incredibly raw, and it may remain challenging for some time. Recovery requires significant effort, especially in the beginning. It calls for trust that our lives will improve and that we will find happiness. The first few months may be uncomfortable, and our disease may try to convince us that we do not have a problem.

To illustrate, people who are allergic to bees don’t go up and shake a beehive. Recognizing our addiction is akin to accepting that we have an allergy. When we use substances, we are having an allergic reaction, just as shaking that beehive invites danger. Accepting this allergy and understanding that we will be stung can be an epiphany for some. For others, however, the temptation to keep shaking the beehive remains. Realizing that we do not react to drugs and alcohol the same way that others do can feel liberating for some, while others may find it embarrassing. This understanding helps us recognize and accept our powerlessness over drugs and alcohol.

The definition of acceptance is “agreement with or belief in an idea, opinion, or explanation.” In the context of addiction, acceptance means acknowledging that we cannot control ourselves regarding mood-altering substances. Our lives often revolve around our next high, and once we start using, we can’t stop. While we might occasionally manage to have just one drink, we tend to celebrate that achievement. Conversely, those who don’t struggle with this illness do not celebrate having just one drink; for them, it often isn’t even a consideration.

One of the first steps to acceptance is to eliminate the belief that we are the same as others who can use substances without issue. Consider a few people in your life who do not have problems with substance use. What sets you apart from them? Do they leave half-empty drinks without a second thought? Do they call in sick to work because they are hungover? Do they frequently deal with drama in their lives? Do they seem happy and healthy in their relationships? Numerous examples highlight how an addict differs from someone who is not affected by this illness.

We are not alone in admitting our powerlessness. There are many groups filled with people like us who are striving for peaceful sobriety. We must start somewhere, and if we are not ready to accept our situation, that is okay; we can still join the recovery community. It may take time, but we will ultimately find acceptance, which is the first step on the path to relief from addiction.